Sunday, January 23, 2011

The color of chocolate

Another birthday! Since Janary doesn't have much else to recommend it (what with it being the cold and dark season) it's lucky we have so many birthdays around here. David turned 24 yesterday. When he was little he always asked for a bakery cake, and chose the one with the brightest colors on it. Now that he's all grown up he knows the value of a tasty homemade chocolate cake in which brown is the only color. I fell in love with this gorgeous moda fabric at the quilt show we went to a few months ago. The vendor just had two fat quarters and a one yard piece. I bought what she had, and then did some "selvedge research". It's the first time I've ever looked online for fabric by using the information provided by the manufacturer right on the selvedge.
Just by typing in the words above I was able to find more of this beautiful fabric at the Fat Quarter Shop - they do sell more than just fat quarters! (A fat quarter is a quarter yard cut in actual quarters rather than the traditional linear quarter yard cut, and measures 18 by 22 inches).
I made a lovely scrub jacket for work out of the piece I bought, and plan to use the smaller pieces to make a new purse and tote bag. I would show a photo of the jacket, but *someone* seems to have deleted the photo. Yes, yes, I know, digital photos are easy, and I can take another one, which I will. (But not now.)
Thanks to Ginny for prompting me to come back to blogland. As I told her, my mom is not doing well, and I have spent much of my time off from work visiting with her. She has had to move from the assisted living section to the nursing care section of the place where she lives.
The actual moving of her clothes, furniture, and other posessions was the easy part, although we might not have thought that at the time. She has not adjusted well at all, and the fact that she can neither see nor remember has made it just awful for her.
Anymore I dread phone calls - they're nearly always from Nurse M with dire reports on Mom's latest misadventure. Last night Larry and I drove the 25 mile round trip in the dark and the snow, because Nurse M tells us how agitated and miserable Mom is at night. When we got there she was sleeping peacefully. We stayed for close to an hour, but did not disturb her much needed sleep.
My brain swirls round and round wondering what the best thing would be for Mom. We have considered leaving our cozy nest of 30 years to find a home with a room for Mom, but I cannot afford to quit my job, and I do need to sleep at night.
A song by Mary Baker Eddy came to mind the last time I heard from Nurse M.
The title is "Mother's Evening Prayer" and the fourth verse popped into my thoughts during that call.
"Beneath the shadow of His mighty wing;
In that sweet secret of the narrow way,
Seeking and finding, with the angels sing:
"Lo, I am with you alway," - watch and pray."
The first verse of the same song begins:
"O gentle presence, peace and joy and power;
O Life divine, that owns each waiting hour, . . ."
You can see why I find comfort in these words.


Daisy said...

Diana, I so understand what you mean about the phone calls. I dread hearing it ring here too. It seems like it is never good news. I know what you mean about trying to figure out what is best for your Mom too. I have struggled with that question too with my own Mom. I mull it over and over and then always come back to the thought that I'm already doing the best I can. It just seems like it is not enough, but we all have our limits.

That material is beautiful. Such a rich looking color. I bet the scrub jacket looks great!

I hope your son had a happy birthday. Chocolate cake with chocolate icing is the best there is in my opinion. Looks delicious! January is a good month to eat cake.

The Gingerbread House said...

Good day to ya! Glad to see you back in Blogland, for now it's the best medicine for you..
It may take awhile for Mom to adjust, she may not to your likings, but for now that is the best place for her. You are not able to provide her with the care she requires at this time..Your heart is too close to it, and you won't be able to detach from what she needs, because of it. Do incessivly what you have been taught,PRAY. Ginny

ladydi said...

Thank you for your kind words, Daisy and Ginny.

Daisy, I suppose at least half the people who live in the places where our moms are, are going through the same thing. That's a lot of heart ache.

Ginny, of course you're right, and prayer is always the answer.

Suzanne said...

Diana what a hard time for you and your dear mum. Working in aged care I see this struggle often most of the dear elderly are so upset by any change. I do hope it works out for her soon.
They cake is divine Brooke and I love chocolate but no else in our family has chocolate cake as a favourite.

ladydi said...

Thank you, Suzanne. It's been a difficult three weeks. On the subject of cake, it's hard to imagine anything better than chocolate!

Locket Pocket said...

Oh Diana I'm so sorry to hear you've been having such an upsetting time. Hopefully your mum will settle soon but I'll be thinking of you in the meantime. Lots of love Lucy xxx

ladydi said...

Thank you, Lucy! It does help a lot that friends care - even about people they've never met.